• 17
  • October
    2011

Fall is a time of transition. Leaves change color as summer slips away, and kids develop new routines and relationships as they go back to school. With all the changes that occur, it is in the best interests of children that some things remain constant. It is important for non-custodial parents to keep some helpful tips in mind, in order to help maintain structure and stability during the school year, while enhancing the bond between parent and child.

Family Reminders

In the midst of transition, parents may feel left out of the loop or may think the other parent is hiding information. In these situations, parents must take the initiative to obtain information about their child's school and extra-curricular activities. Simply relying on the other parent to provide such information could be a recipe for disaster. Also, children should not be made messengers between parents. This invariably forces children to divide their loyalties between mom and dad, and makes them feel guilty for keeping (or divulging) secrets.

Be a Parent. Be a Fan.

Parenting inherently makes you a fan of your child's activities. Knowing that you're supportive and that you take pride in seeing him or her do well means everything to a child. With that said, maintaining a calendar of events is helpful. It should be readily visible in the home, and should include birthdays, school schedules, sporting events, dance recitals and other special occasions. Most importantly, make sure that it mirrors the event calendar (if any) at your ex-spouse's home.

Your Home is "Home" too

"Dad's house" and "Mom's house" should not be divisive labels that mark territories and foster high-conflict situations. After all, you are still a family even though you do not live under the same roof. As such, rules should consistent between the two homes. Also, having a child's favorite things in each home reduces the stress of remembering (or forgetting) to bring toys or games back and forth.

Following these guidelines should make the transition into the school year easier, and strengthen bonds between non-custodial parents and their children.